My daughter and I were having one of those growing-up-is-difficult type conversations the other day.
“Dad, are the Royals going to be in the World Series again?” she asked.
I struggled to find the right words to explain how various outcomes had contributed to the Royals not being up for another World Series win this year. Terms like hitting slumps, starting pitching depth, injuries and Joakim Soria came to mind.
Joakim Soria
Most casual baseball or sports fans would be unfamiliar with Joakim Soria. Those that have followed the Royals for the past ten years know exactly who he is.
He is a Mexican-born pitcher whom the Royals acquired through a transaction procedure known as the Rule 5 draft: Players that aren’t part of a Major League team can be selected by another team after a certain number of years with an organization, if the new team puts him on their Major League team for the whole year. These players typically have some major deficiency that they have failed to overcome that keeps them from showing enough improvement to earn a roster spot. In Soria’s case, he had suffered a major injury.
The Royals scouts had seen something in Soria that they liked. Since, at that time, the Royals had essentially a roster full of players that were replaceable, they could snag him and afford patience as he began pitching the majors. Because of both his youth and his injury, the Royals limited his use to pitching at the end of games. Quickly, Soria proved to be really, really good. In fact, during a period that in hindsight was the darkness before the dawn of the Royals’ recent success, Soria was about the only reason to watch the Royals when Zack Greinke wasn’t pitching.
Unlike many relief pitchers, Soria wasn’t notable for how hard he could throw a baseball. He was just skilled at making batters swing and miss. My favorite pitch of his was a slow curveball that due to its speed and dramatic rotation would often have batters swinging out of their shoes and looking foolish. While he wasn’t perfect every time and sometimes got beat, I don’t have a memory of this happening.
His last year under contract with the Royals, he got hurt. Then he went a few other places. Finally, this year, the Royals re-signed him. He was coming come. He had endured the darkest times in Royals’ history and would now be with the team when they were good again.
But, as it happened, he has instead become one of the lightning rods for fan dissatisfaction. He has come by some of this honestly as he has negatively affected the outcome of a number of games.
Watching him now, there are flashes. Every so often he throws a curveball that brings back fond memories. More often though, it seems that he is unable to put away the batter and the ball gets hit hard. I’m sure that sometimes he has performed well this year, but I don’t have memories of this happening. And, so the memory is now tarnished.
As I’ve looked at his statistics, a lot of his numbers this year are similar to his early years with the Royals. Certainly, there are some differences, but a lot of it seems to be perception.
Childhood Memories
It reminds me of the feeling you get when you revisit familiar childhood haunts as an adult: They often lack the magic they once held in childhood memory.
The cool playground is actually a rusty tetanus roulette park; the cool older neighbor was actually a socially-awkward kid that had difficulty making friends with people his own age; the cartoon, you woke at 5am on a Saturday to watch, is more likely to cause seizures than entertainment and so on.
However, I don’t hold any of this against my old self. I wasn’t wrong to think those things. To me, the lesson is that you can’t chase the ghosts of the good old days, because it’s very possible that the good old days won’t be as good to you now.
One of the recommendations I remember from one of the many books I read during Sarah’s illness was to avoid seeing your loved one pre-illness as perfect. Try not to blame every negative or annoying thing the person does on the disorder.
Reality and the Passage of Time
So, I try to do my best to clearly discern the realities of life with the passage of time.
While I may not have as much interest now in riding on the merry-go-round as my kids do, I had a lot of good times at the playground as a child. And, similarly, many of the things that my wife does that irritate me now are pretty much the same things she has done as long as I have known her.
I signed up for all of her when I asked her to marry me. I thought it was a good idea then. And, the more I evaluate it now, the more proud I am of my younger self for being so wise.
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